


Loser (hot like burning)

by aphelant, general_jinjur (jinjurly)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Audio Format: Streaming, Gen, Not!Fic, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Team Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-15
Updated: 2008-04-15
Packaged: 2018-04-06 05:23:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4209555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphelant/pseuds/aphelant, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinjurly/pseuds/general_jinjur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>so you know how people write fanfic sometimes? stories? and sometimes they pair up into, like, superhero-like authoring teams? and co-write fantastic epics?</p>
<p>well, we don't really ever get around to the "writing" part.</p>
<p>(and then we made a podfic of it, which is way more fun)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loser (hot like burning)

Cover Art provided by cybel.

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## Streaming Audio

## Downloads

  * [MP3](http://jinjurly.com/audfiles/loser.zip) | **Size:** 5 MB | **Duration:** 5:34
  * [Podbook](http://jinjurly.com/audfiles/loser.m4b.zip) | **Size:** 2.7 MB | **Duration:** 5:34

  
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**[original text - not as funny as the podfic]**

aphelant

You know what I was thinking today? There needs to be fic about Ronon and Rodney during those two weeks when Teyla and John are both missing. Why have I not read this yet? I mean, really, who could resist the angst and bonding? Abandonment issues? Comfort through food and stick training? Maybe they're just waiting until Teyla is back. The angst cannot be complete until canon completion?

general_jinjur

um...yeah.

aphelant

...

general_jinjur

(two days later)  
okay, i didn't really understand this email until yesterday, when i watched 'the last man' in the airport. god, you are so right. two weeks! and they had to be panicking! i bet lorne totally suspected the genii of kidnapping. (sorry about how i totally poorly faked knowing what you were talking about.)

aphelant

I know, right? Two weeks of wonderful, glorious angst!

Lorne would be all, "What do you mean he didn't get there? I watched him go through the gate!" and then Rodney would be like, "First you let Teyla get culled, now you lost Sheppard in a wormhole?" and Lorne would be all, "D:" and Carter would be all like, "McKay..." and Ronon would *loom*.

general_jinjur

poor lorne. i bet ronon showed up at his quarters pre-dawn every day and was all "time to spar". and then just beat him up. EVERY DAY. and lorne would just be all, (sigh) "okay".

i think mckay would be too frantic to actually do anything but make the occasional off-hand accusatory comment. 

aphelant

And not only does Lorne feel hideously guilty about losing half of ART-1, but he's also worried that Carter's going to take away his gate team, because he's the first to admit he's sort of fucked up a lot recently. So on top of daily morning death matches with Ronon, he's doing his own job, plus Sheppard's (he was already doing his paperwork though), plus he's jumping at every opportunity to go out and look for Teyla. Because dammit he's going to make things better.

Lorne is so relieved when Sheppard comes home and it turns out that it wasn't Lorne's fault after all. Ronon doesn't let up on the sparring though, but Lorne's okay with that.

general_jinjur

i bet lorne makes life kind of hell for the entire military contingent, too. not in a malicious way, just that everyone is going to be on eggshells.

aphelant

Right, because he's not getting enough sleep, and the guilt, and the job-related stress, and worrying about Teyla and the baby, and everything else, and he's not so unflappable. More like the guy you don't want to meet in a dark alley (which, btw, is totally hot). It's a long, long couple weeks for everyone.

general_jinjur

omg. i have never thought lorne was that hot before, and suddenly...  
(pretty, yes. hot? not really.)

aphelant

Word, sister! If I were Teyla, I wouldn't have been able to resist. Well, I suppose if I were Teyla I might not have noticed, what with being in love with someone else and distressed about my missing people, and also I would have been culled pretty much right after, but...maybe when she gets back? THERE IS NO TIME LIMIT ON THAT KIND OF HOTNESS.

My god, I hope he is in more episodes next season. Also, more of the sleepwear, please. :) [i'm thinking movie night, it's late, people (hopefully sheppard, lorne, and mckay, mmm yes) come in comfy clothes, everyone passes around teyla's baby like he's a popcorn bowl, but it's lorne who holds him when he starts to get cranky because no one else really has experience with kids. except maybe jennifer, being the kind of doctor who has a tub of lollies, but she is busy being adorable with ronon while sheppard keeps shooting careful looks between them and rodney, who is of course oblivious to it all, and if teyla smiles more at lorne than she used to, well, she'll blame it on the baby drool all over his collar]

general_jinjur

yeah, teyla has other things to worry about. but i bet a lot of other people are getting distracted and accidentally walking into things/tripping/losing track of their thoughts when he storms by, all rumpled and determined and GUILTY.

also, yes. what do you want to bet sheppard is going to cockblock mckay like a maniac with keller? actually...that would be sort of awesome. he could drive her right back into ronon's arms. HOT.

aphelant

Like Zelenka, who is usually straight, and Sam, who should not be thinking of her subordinates like that (no matter how attractively they stride down hallways), and Keller, even though it's her boyfriend who beats him up every morning, and Katie, who is about to leave for Earth but almost changes her mind, and Biro, who actually drags Lorne into a closet and would have had her way with him except there was an unscheduled off-world activation and he ran off, shooting terrified looks at her over his shoulder, and Chuck, who is so distracted by Lorne that he misses his chair and tumbles halfway down the gate room stairs, and Parrish, who blushed every time he and Lorne were in the same room (which isn't actually different from any other day, except for the particular shade of red).

I'll be disappointed if there is no cockblocking in season five. Or John awkwardly trying to set the two of them up before Teyla tells him that Ronon likes Keller and that's when things really get awkward.

general_jinjur

I WANT TO SEE CHUCK SIT DOWN AND MISS HIS CHAIR SO BAD.

aphelant

THAT WOULD BE EPIC.

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted in 2008, re-posted to ao3 because aphelant let her website die and all the text links broke *rimshot*


End file.
